Tiger Woods - Jokenews article

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This article recounts how Tiger Woods uses his friendship with you to inspire him on the course. "If I feel I'm not going to be able to pull off a shot," he says, "I think of [Your name]."

It's a wonderful article for golf players of all standards - funny, flattering and almost believable.

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TEXT OF TIGER WOODS ARTICLE

WENTWORTH - Despite an agonising day suffering from food poisoning, US Masters Champion Tiger Woods again managed to dominate the field during yesterday's Volvo Invitation Classic, firing 9 under par and setting a tournament record. How did he do it?

Enter Your Name, amateur golfer, and unofficial coach to many top PGA players. Stated Woods, after a recent visit to Your Location, "Whenever I feel I may not be able to pull off a difficult shot, I think of First Name and say, 'Damn, if First Name can do it so can I.'"

Woods was referring to Last Name's ability to overcome personal adversity to continue playing the game he so loves, yet has been unable to dominate at a professional level. Stated Last Name, "I've had a number of setbacks which prevented me from going pro. That's okay - the important thing for me is not the status, but the sheer love of the game."

Woods would tend to agree, but adds, "I do like the money."

In addition to two rounds of golf, Woods spent time with Last Name shopping at a local health food store, chatting to pupils at Your Location Primary School, and doing what Last Name calls "positive visualisation." "I shut my eyes and imagine myself playing golf," said Last Name. "I see myself hit the ball. And whether I make the shot or not it doesn't matter. I just try, in my heart, to feel good about it."

Last Name's mentorship of Woods and other pros like No. 8 ranked Padraig Harrington and No. 23 Scott Verplank, is not widely noted in the media. "I like to keep a low profile," he explains.

His lack of notoriety may also have to do with his non-professional standing. "I'm comfortable with amateur status," says Last Name. "I don't need the pressure of being a pro golfer and I don't crave the media spotlight. I'm happy just playing the local scene around Your Location."

Modest though he may be, Last Name has considered writing a book of tips and techniques for golfers. "I've been encouraging him to do it for years," stated Woods. "It would be essential reading for every golfer in the world." Last Name smiles "But all that time spent writing means less time on the fairway."