'Good Morning Sir' Voco Alarm Clock with Stephen Fry

Instead of the shrill and insistent beep of ordinary clocks, the first thing you hear from the Voco is . . . gentle birdsong. This is followed by a discreet cough, then the comforting words "Good morning sir . . .". and, a few seconds later, a soothing message from Stephen Fry.

The clock has over 150 messages, recorded exclusively by Stephen Fry for Voco on high quality audio chips. (We're not just saying that - they *are* the best audio chips you can get for this sort of thing, and the sound quality is astounding.) Examples of some of the messages are transcribed below (imagine them in Fry's most mellifluous tones).

The clock itself has a handsome classical design. Its wooden casing is handfinished in black lacquer, it has a glass front, and a nifty pop-up light for late-night checks. It is reassuringly heavy - the same as the Anthony Beevor's 'Stalingrad'.

All in all, the Voco clock makes a wonderful present. It is smart, original, functional and, as you'd expect from anything associated with Stephen Fry, rather droll.

- I'm so sorry to disturb you sir, but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree, sir. I believe it is The rotation of the earth which is to blame, sir.

- I'm delighted you have survived another night. May I add my own congratulations to the roar of the world's approval? Thank you, sir.

- I'm afraid the staff has absconded, sir. And it is my day off. I trust it will not be too onerous to make your own exquisitely sliced toast and perfectly cooked breakfast?

- Come come, sir. Let us not be defeated. Let seize the day, and take it roughly from behind. As the Colonel used to say, in his unfortunate manner.

- I'm so sorry to disturb you sir, but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree, sir. I believe it is The rotation of the earth which is to blame, sir.

- Your horoscope is promising very considerable profit and equal quantities of pleasure. Unlikely as this may currently appear, the world merely requires your presence for the process to begin�

- The world has been very anxious to hear from you for the last eight hours. Shall I inform the news agencies you are about to rise, sir?

- The rising and the shining cannot be postponed indefinitely. Though shining isn't compulsory in this intractable world, the rising eventually is.

- I feel sure you have slept sound, feel thoroughly refreshed and wait the day with the anticipation of an energetic gazelle. Good Heavens sir, I saw a pig flying past the window.

- It is time to face the day. Shall I cancel your appointments and book a hotel for a month in the Seychelles? Very good, sir.

- If you are feeling fragile, may I pass on my grandfather's advice: Nothing very bad can happen to you if your shoes are properly polished.